Do you think its right that catholics should not use a condom when they have sex?.. i know you not meant to have sex before marriage. but times get hard and at times you can be put under pressure!..

and when you are married what happens if you just want to have sex but you dont want kids? not many people can afford to have a lot of kids these days!..

as a catholic i feel its wrong cause this is how diseases are spread. the woman may remain faithful but how do you know the man is!..

or some people are born with diseases or catch them along the way with out having sex.. shouldnt the woman have the choice of contraception? so that it keeps her safe as well as keeping the partner that as an illness happy?..

Hi  Justine!

I've done quite a bit of research into this topic, and the first thing that jumped out to me with what you said is that not using condoms is wrong because this is the way that diseases are spread. Perhaps you might consider that you are thinking a little narrowly when you say that. The fact is that over the years there has been quite a remarkable correlation between the spread of STD's and the widespread use of contraceptives such as condoms. Takes HIV and AIDS for example. It is true that a condom could be quite effective in stopping the transmission of the disease from person A to person B  but it seems that condoms are in fact a very large contributor to the spread of global pandemic itself. This is because condoms (and other contraceptives) only promote the source of the problem - sexual promiscuity.  There are a number of reasons for this, such as:

- the creation of a false sense of sexual security which encourgages people to take more risks

- the loss of the need to practice self control, leading to issues such as infidelity, and the inability to say 'no' when, for example a condom isn't available

- the list goes on and on, but i won't elaborate any further for now

I was also wondering in what way you thought contraceptives would keep a woman safe? Really think deeply about this and see if you think that contraceptives really get to the source of a problem or whether they just cover it up leaving it to only get worse. ... Much like putting a lid on a  bubbling over pot of boiling water because it would 'stop the water from overflowing'.  Surely the real solution would be to turn the heat off?

We definitely buy in too easily when society tries to sell contraceptives as the solution to many social issues  ... very short term thinking if you ask me... and not to mention that somebody is sitting back and laughing their head off while they make quite a fortune off of our gullibility!!

Thanks for starting off the discussion! 

I find your ideas quite interesting because you seem try to reconcile what you have heard you should do as a Catholic and what most people actually do in their relationships. Condoms might help you not to get pregnant but just think of the effect that sex will have on you. Is the boy really loving you or is he just using you for his own pleasure?

You seem to imply that contraception keeps a woman safe. How? I ask myself. By using contraception you are saying to a man "I am available any time you want , do with me whatever you like because I won't have kids as a result"  This makes me think that contraception makes women more vulnerable to the whims of men who use them to satisfy their own desires.

If you really want to know if a guy really loves you ask him to wait until you are married. If he doesn't want to my bet is that he is not really interested in you but in what he can get out of you.

It is very true the youth are under pressure from all sides, their friends, their boyfriend or girlfriend and the media what you see and read constantly, not to mention advertising and what is being taught in schools, but you can’t be forced to do something you are not comfortable with.  It is also true that life styles can be expensive but the value of human life is worth more than fancy homes and clothes, sometimes the sacrifice of wealth for the substitution of a more less expensive life style is worth more than all the money in the world when you think of a family to love and look after.  I have never heard of anyone who has children who have lived to regret having them whether they are rich or poor.

You bring up an important point of how do you know if the man or in many cases the woman is faithful, Victoria states this beautifully a man or woman who waits for you is the one worth being with and the one who can’t is not worth your time, think about this example carefully………….. When you meet a man or a woman who has been sexually active, do you know that you not only sleep with that one man or woman but with every partner he or she has ever slept with?

Image this   Tom the man of your dreams has had 2 girls friends Amy and Joan and been sexually active with both, Amy has slept with 5 men and Joan three, that means Tom has a 8 times more likely chance of catching something so far if we go further Joan’s ex partners Jason, Conrad and Jacob had 4, 6 and 9 partners respectfully how many people are you sleeping with now?  How many times more likely are you likely to catch something, how would you feel knowing that you are going to bed with a large community instead of one person? 

This question I am assuming has come to light after the news of the Pope’s view on contraception?  The modern notion is that contraception is new and has been invented to help man kind save the planet, stop lots of unwanted pregnancies, help everyone have a better life and most importantly stop diseases…………………. Has it?  The situation in itself has got worse, there are more teenage pregnancies than before, diseases are more wide spread and the planet is still in trouble despite the huge amount of money that has been allocated to contraceptive awareness, children are taught in schools about the different types of contraceptives available and if all fails the now ever popular after pill has been freely distributed to all the “young, innocent” but  “well informed “ youth who still have unwanted pregnancies most of which are now dealt with through abortion.  So are condoms the answer?  Uganda has proved this theory wrong but going against the tide of irresponsible teaching encouraging us to sleep with numerous partners and increase the risk of spreading not only disease but bad reputations, unfaithfulness and a reduced number of marriages.  Is this the happiness we want?

The Pope has in fact defended the family life, the integrity of a woman if you think about it carefully as a man who will wait to have sex with one woman is worth the countless numbers of meaningless relationships one could have.  By abstaining from sex the number of unwanted pregnancies would dwindle, the spread of disease would slow down and most importantly there would be more long term relationships, is this wrong?  Look at Uganda which has promoted fidelity and not contraceptives it has worked better than any form of contraceptives.  The Pope is not inventing anything but doing His job which is to defend the teaching of the Church which was started by JESUS not Him, contraception has been around longer than Christianity and the diseases are still there

thank you guys for answering! it has really made me think deeply about it.. however im still not convinced.. Victoria i get what you mean about asking the guy to wait for you and if he chooses not to than you know he isnt the one! that is true... however there isnt many people in this world who are willing to wait! maybe a year or too than they decide to cheat cause they not prepared to wait (that what happened to me, i was so heart broken).. kristen what you say about a guy sleeping with like 10 people and those 10 people sleeping with like another 10 people.. again that is true and it is nasty to know you sleeping with loads of people but there isnt really alot of people out there that havnt slept with alot of people.. people are attracted to different types of people... my problem is im attracted to the bad boy figure (what you may think it is) however my boys have sweet personalities.. i know im not going to find a guy that is perfect however if i like someone should i not keep them happy too? (NEED HELP)

by the marriages back in the olden days were like when they were 13years old.. marriages now like place when your in your 20s/30s.. how in the world do you keep your will power?

and to the person that said about not regreting to have the children they have! thats a good point some people do have lots of kids.. some people are also doing ok because they living on our taxes! not many people want to have a lot of kids. they should only have them if they can afford.. we are already over populated. (not to go off topic and start talking about politics)

I JUST WANT OTHER VIEWS!

It’s all about choice……

If you happen to find a guy you like and he ends up getting bored with your “no sex before marriage” views then you have to decide if he is more important then what you believe in. No one is perfect and just remember it is not only the guys who cheat and can carry diseases it can also be the girl. If we all lived our life’s wondering how many people have slept with who and who, we would count until the cows come home

A guy should respect your choice of not wanting sex before marriage and a women should respect a guy’s choice if he does not want sex before marriage

Times may have changed but there are lots of guys and girls out there who believe in not having sex before marriage

I always believe that God does not give you a test that you can not handle

So put your solider boots on and stand your ground

What you think?

this is a very hot topic justine .Just for you to understand Sex is a gift from God and not  a tool so treat it as a sacred object .Secondly i was surprised when you said that we are over populated .Having children is a blessing from God and with with this fact just think again if you do how much space we still have in the world .

There is an alternative to contraception called natural family planning. Which is okay for catholics to use. A woman can use signs in her own body to see whether she is fertile or not and so can postpone having children to a time when it is suitable. No drugs, devices, or surgical procedures are used to avoid pregnancy. NFP reflects the dignity of the human person within the context of marriage and family life, promotes openness to life, and recognizes the value of the child.